I went down a few rabbit holes…

I’ve been sitting with something for about a week now. I started writing it yesterday and coming back today to share what’s been on my heart. 

A lot of it comes from what I’m seeing right now and how it’s bringing me back to my own journey of unraveling, layer by layer, how that pushes you to look at things you’d rather not. 

That process isn’t always clean or clear. For me, it wasn’t. 

There are twists, questions, lots more questions and moments that really stretch you. It’s moments where what you’ve always believed and what you’re starting to see don’t quite line up, and that can mess with you a little. 

However, when you have guidance rooted in love, grounded in truth, and anchored in faith, it does something. It doesn’t rush you and it doesn’t force clarity. But it keeps bringing you back to what’s real and back to God, where truth has a way of settling in. 

If this is showing up for you and I have a sense it could be, based on what I’ve been hearing lately in my circles and collectively, I want to share a bit of my experience and what I’ve come to understand along the way.

I remember walking through that myself. 

Around 2016, and even more in 2017, I was deep in the coaching & personal growth world, surrounded by people I respect and still love. Some of the conversations I found myself in started to challenge things I had always believed, including parts of my faith. 

I didn’t have language for it back then, but it created a internal tension that was hard to sit with. Some people would call that cognitive dissonance. 

I felt it. 

I also resisted it. 

I remember trying to prove why they were wrong. Holding tighter to what I believed. Feeling a little isolated in it. 

But I also have a curious mind. 

So I did something that, looking back, was a big step for me. 

I remember asking God, very clearly, “If I go explore this, if I go deeper than what feels comfortable, will you reel me back in if I go too far?” 

And I felt a yes. 

I want to say this, because I think it matters. There was a stretch of time where I was exposed to a lot of different teachings and perspectives. Some of it felt good, some of it I wanted to believe, and some of it didn’t sit right at all. 

And even though there was something in me that knew it was off at times, there were moments I still leaned toward it. Mainly because I thought what if this is also a way Or maybe I was missing something. I’ve always been open-minded, a bit of a skeptic, and naturally curious, which has taken me down a few rabbit holes, but I also didn’t make a home down there when something didn’t sit right. 

And if I’m being real, a lot of it never brought me peace. But my curiosity kept me there longer than it should have. 

What I didn’t lose in that season was my direct connection to God. That stayed. 

But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me. 

There were moments where I felt off, where things got confusing and where I had to sort through what was actually true and what just sounded good in the moment. 

And that part did more to me than I realized at the time. It started to feel like a bit of a hamster wheel, always looking for more. More answers, more enlightenment, more spiritual depth, more reassurance, more books, more trainings, more understanding, more certainty. 

After a while (not over night), anything that started to pull me too far from what I knew deep down, what my soul knew, I had to step back from.

Perhaps there was a little fear in there but more than anything, the difference became louder. 

And that mattered more than trying to make something fit. Over time - I started to see it more clearly. Not everything I came across was meant for me to hold onto. Some of it challenged me in the right ways and some of it showed me what didn’t belong. 

God isn’t afraid of our questions or threatened by our curiosity. 

With that… 

If I were to do it again, I wouldn’t just ask to be reeled back in. I would ask for protection over my mind and discernment while I’m in it. Because there was a season where I became so open, my filter led me to more questions than answers, leaving me mostly unsatisfied and restless. 

That said, that season taught me a lot. 

Some of what I explored over time strengthened my faith, some of it fell away on its own. 

But the real shift came in learning how to stay open without losing my footing and that’s where discernment became everything for me. 

Looking back now, I can see that season differently. 

At the time, it felt unsettling. Disorienting, even. Now, I can see it was part of my process. It’s not something I would recommend or map out for someone else but something that gave me a deeper understanding of how we move through these moments as humans. 

And honestly, it’s shaped how I support people now, because the truth is, we’re not all that different. 

Our minds try to protect us. 

Sometimes we’re not ready to see something yet. It’s not because we’re unwilling but because something in us isn’t ready to let go of what we’ve known. And that doesn’t make someone less aware, less intelligent or less anything. It just means they are in the middle of their own process. 

I saw a lot of this collectively around 2020, when things started to unravel for many of us. And when that happens on a larger scale, it becomes easier to recognize. 

But even now… I can feel it again. 

I’m not talking about “this person is right” or “that person is wrong” but in the way people are trying to make sense of what doesn’t quite line up internally. 

And I get that, I’ve been there. 

This is about bringing a little awareness to something we all experience at different points in our lives. 

When something doesn’t sit right and we try to override it or explain it too quickly, it often creates more tension inside of us. 

While that tension is worth paying attention to, it doesn’t mean we should try and force it and rush it either. Just noticing it and trusting that whatever is meant to unfold… will. And for me now, it’s staying close to God in the process, letting Him lead, even when it’s not fully clear yet. 

That’s something I’m still walking out but with a lot more peace in my journey. 

Rabbit holes happen - what matters is you know how to come back.

Francine